Well, Whadyaknow! I got the comments working! Feel free to comment at me now. :P So... comp prep has been shaky at best lately. I've been fighting a lot of inner demons. Doesn't it always boil down to that though? I bought a book called Secrets of a Former Fat Girl . AWESOME book. The author does a fantastic job at getting into the mindset and thoughts of "Fat Girls". Reading what she used to be like, its hard to believe she is a size 2 and has been for 20 years! Wow! I am feeling relieved and hopeful. I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to get a handle on things or looking to finish off the battle with food and themselves.
I have some major stress hitting me right now. I'm struggling with my work situation. I'd like nothing more than to walk away. I'm tired of mentally feeling beaten down each day. I don't have a positive grasp on myself yet. I'm fighting my old inner voice that tells me I'm bad, fat, unworthy, etc. I don't need to be in an environment daily that repeats that on loudspeaker x1000. I have a list of all my positive qualities and why I am worth the effort. Why I can and deserve to reach my goals and dreams. I deserve not only a healthy and strong body, but a healthy and happy disposition. I have let myself get beaten down for the last 4 years. I am not going to take the abuse anymore. Its time for me to take care of me. I will have the strong and fit body I desire. I will have health and energy. I will LIVE again instead of hiding and wishing I could do more.
So yeah... there it is. Tomorrow is a fresh day. I'm off of work. I intend to make the best of each moment. No more "Fat Girl" mentality.