Saturday, June 6, 2009

Steps towards progress...

Yesterday I felt completely run down. I know it was the lack of sleep and allergies that were kicking me down. It was good that it was a rest day. I got some good sleep last night and I'm feeling overall better. I am congested like crazy which is a bit of a problem. My asthma has been especially bad the last few days and I'm finding myself frustrated. Am I really giving it my all during my workouts? Of course not. Breathing well is essential to performance. I'm doing my best in my current condition, but honestly its not up to par with what I am capable of. I need to take a good look at how I can get my breathing back in order. Antihistamines just kill me during the day. I need to use them to combat the reactions happening in my body though. Maybe adding some more Vitamin B will help with the energy crisis I experience? I also need to change the air cleaner filter and use my Breathe Right Strips at night. I've gotten lax at using them, but they are a life saver! I'm only cheating myself by neglecting this critical component of my life! It seems like a no-brainer, but keeping asthma well-controlled versus livable can be a lot more work. More work it is. This is just another step towards progress. Besides, I will feel better overall and no matter how anything else turns out, breathing well is just not optional, it mandatory!

On Thursday I did something major for my life. Some may already know that I have this weird social anxiety thing. I used to work at the YMCA as a personal trainer/fitness coordinator. I loved that job but medical issues ultimately caused me to move on to something different. I used to be totally comfortable in a fitness center. It was my "home". Since I gained all this weight, my levels of anxiety are much higher, especially-so in a gym setting. Its stupid since I know my way around equipment pretty well. I just get this weird freak out thing going on. Its been bad enough that one time I drove to the Rec Center (which is really awesome) and drove home without going in. So I had a guest pass I had been using and it finally expired. I have been fighting this internally for some time and I just finally did it. I joined the Rec Center! *gasp* I am now committed to going and exercising in front of other sweaty people. OMG. :P They can stare at my insanely large booty all they want, cause it will be there more often. Haha. I have to say, as stupid as it sounds, becoming a member already makes a difference in how I feel. I feel like I have a right to be there. I feel like its my place to workout now. It feels less intimidating now that I did the official tour, too. My workouts are better at the center and I can surround myself with more like-minded people. Regardless of individual fitness goals and beliefs, we are all there moving and trying to better ourselves somehow-- which is more than I can say about being at my workplace. I really think this is going to be a critical step in my progress. I will still feel awkward for awhile, but that will change. Funny how this fitness journey is about so much more that physical fitness.... ;)

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