Struggling to stay on track?? (not me this time!)

So I still battle the sugar monster- its typically bad on Monday after the re-feed. I want more carbs.I am not lacking for food in my diet, but its always interesting to see how my body responds- but even more interesting is my mind.

When I think back on why I have struggled, there is ALWAYS some emotional tie. In the recent years (and this has LONG been a habit dating back to high school) I "medicated" with food. Whatever sugary or salty fix that would pump up the endorphins and make me feel less crappy about life I would consume. I found that anger was the biggest fuel. Feeling the lack of control in other situations, feeling neglected or rejected meant "loving ME" by eating. Ben & Jerry sure loved me, right? The bliss in my mouth soon became shame, more anger, frustration and hopelessness. The times I tried to stick with programs, I was successful for short bursts, but I never dealt with all the emotional components. This thing called weight loss (I prefer fat loss); this journey to be healthier is so much more than eating the right foods and doing the right workouts. It is absolutely imperative to break the emotional ties we have to food. Certain foods are comforting. They remind us of times in our lives, people, memories... The worst part though, is the physical reactions that take place. Peanut butter and chocolate have an unnatural power over me. LOL There are lots of associations for things in my life, but there is a very real physical reaction when I eat that combo that calls out for more! Breaking the emotional tie is the first and biggest step, but there is a fight to release the physical addiction as well.
Don't be fooled into thinking that just sheer will power alone will help you eat right. It does take a lot of that! It is a mind over matter issue! You have to be strong, but you have to have ammo for the physical too. WATER. Drinking water, eating veggies, exercising. These things can help keep the temptations weak. In the end you have to choose, but it helps to know what you are really up against. Break the emotional ties first. Then be prepared for the physical ties and this journey gets a little bit easier.

I am staying aware of what I am wanting and why. It has now come down to I want a strong, healthy and thinner body and I want it more than the short term fixes that junky food offers. I'm not saying I never want something unhealthy, but as each day progresses, I am feeling stronger and wanting my healthy foods more than anything.